Why Ask Why? Part 2

Why Ask Why? Part 2

In thinking about things that just seem to go so wrong in our lives, it’s apparent, when we really think about it, that things go wrong because of poor decision making. We aren’t seeking God’s help and guidance, so we make the wrong choices. But what about when things go wrong that seemingly have nothing to do with decision making? Things that seem completely out of our control.

Shortly after I found out that I was pregnant, I had some very confusing lab results come back. After switching doctors and running more tests, it was confirmed that everything in my blood work was fine. However, this was very traumatic for my husband and for me. There is nothing like having a doctor tell you should just terminate this pregnancy. Even after the initial problem was resolved, things still didn’t feel right. We were a nervous wreck for the following months. That’s when we were praying like crazy for God to intervene. Something still wasn’t right. I knew it.

Months later when we lost our baby, I tried not to ask, “why”. What good would it do anyway, right? It took several weeks for us to get a genetic diagnosis of Trisomy 18. When we got the diagnosis, I researched what it was. Only 5% of babies with T-18 ever make it to term. Only 1% live, and all die before the age of 1 year. Wow! I had no idea. As I read about the trials and suffering of these babies when they do make it to term, I realized that God had intervened. Trisomy 18 happens immediately at conception had can not be detected for months. It has nothing to do with what parents eat or do. It just happens sometimes. The heartbreak of losing the baby at 17 weeks was intense, but I think that God knew we could have never handled the heartbreak of losing the baby at birth or a week later or a month later. Period.

So instead of asking why when something happens that it seems you have had no control over. You couldn’t have stopped it or changed it. Ask what. What can I take from this? What can I share with others that may help them? What does God want me to do with this experience? Whether it’s illness, loss of a loved one, loss of financial security, loss of your dreams even—Don’t ask why. Ask what instead. What do I do with this experience that will bring hope and healing for me and others?